Self-Discouragement

I know. I know. I just had a baby one month ago. One month ago today actually. Sheesh, how is that possible? Anyway, I made the mistake of trying on khakis today in a store in front of a full length mirror…dum dum dum and dumb dumb dumb. Whilst pregnant with my sweet Donovan I gained 50 pounds. YIKES! So, since then I have lost 28 of it, but that still leaves me at a very chubby amount. I have at least 30 more to go until I am at my ideal weight. Its so frustrating to be at this starting point. I have not slept thru the night since August, which doesn’t leave much energy for exercising. But I have to do it. Because I never want to see what I saw in the mirror today again. I am always unhappy when I am overweight and can’t seem to focus on anything else. Its because I love yummy food so much. I love the pasta and pizza and chocolate cake and ice cream. I just do. Its delicious. So losing weight is awful because then I constantly think about the things I can’t have. And having it in small doses doesn’t really work for me, I’m not so good at the “have one hershey kiss” or “just have one slice of pizza” thing. Its too much of a temptation. I do realize that it is so typical of a post partem woman to complain about her weight, but this is my struggle right now, and I needed to get it out of my head.
I know. I know. I just had a baby one month ago.

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Snow, snow, and more snow

For the first time in my life I am actually mad at the snow. As ridiculous as that sounds, its true. I can’t get my van out of my driveway…. again. I bundled up one 4 year old, a two year old and a 2 week old baby, warmed up my van, started down my driveway, only to hit a patch of ice and deep snow and get stuck. Leading to Layla crying and throwing a fit because I said I couldn’t take her to school, which led to the baby waking up and screaming, which led to me getting out in a 3 foot snowdrift to try to dig out the tires so the crying would stop….. didn’t work. So I piled the kids out, tried not to slip on the ice walking back up the driveway and brought them back inside the house. All in sub-zero tempretures. If they would have just cancelled school due to the cold weather I would not be dealing with this crap. Oh, and did I mention that it was snowing more at the time???

Yesterday I was sitting in the van waiting to go into Layla’s school and get her, and this little boy gets out of his car with his mom. She heads into the school and the boy (probably 6 years old or less) begins running his tongue along the whole length of the car, licking the snow off……. Is this what is in store for me as a mother to a boy???