Last Summer, I distinctly remember long lazy days. I remember cobalt blue skies, the sound of lawn mowers, my kids laughing and shrieking in joy in the tree house. I remember hurried texts late in the morning from friends wanting to meet up at the splash pad. I remember late evening walks with my family and dog, and the kids darting in and out of neighbors yards to catch fire flies.
Yesterday morning I was sick as a dog. I’ve often noticed that on days I’m headed to meet with my special friends, my body seems to go under attack. I laid down on the cool tiles of the church office, to still the dizziness and the stomach that was not calm as it should be. I lay there and prayed. I prayed for healing just long enough so that I could get to the kids for the day. No way was I going to miss it. I had specifically told them that I would be back in one week. I was not not going to let them down. I need them to trust me, trust that I love them. I can’t do that if I don’t show up. Jane and a few others were waiting for me specifically.
The police took her to her biological mom. Where a fresh new hell awaited. I just cannot even go on.
Jane was removed again, but took that voice with her once more. She was taken to a safe place, where many other girls with similar stories live. In this place she discovered the source of the Voice.
I asked her how it is possible for such a young girl to cling onto and trust God after going through the suffering she had. Her response was this, “Because He stayed with me. And I know He loves Me. Because I’m safe now.”
Jane bears a story that isn’t even fathomable to most of us. But she refused to let go of God in her storm. She held on, and God led her through it. Now that little girl is lovingly caring for other little girls and ministering to them. She told me that she has peace now.
When Jane isn’t by my side at the home, I watch her as small children run up and hug her legs. I see her sit to lunch at the end of the line, as others are served first. She is the last one to wave goodbye as our van pulls out of the gate. Her tragedy does not define her. It doesn’t control her, it hasn’t turned her towards bitterness, anger, despair. Her relationship with Jesus defines her. Her sweet smile, and shy eyes show who she is.
Jane’s favorite time of day: Bible class. Because she can read her Bible all she wants.
Jane’s favorite kind of music: Praise music to God
I hugged Jane for a long time. And as is often the case she remained by my side for the rest of the
day. I love this girl. If I could be her mom, and change her story and experience with “moms” I would do it in an instant. I get to be mom, when I go through those gates.
So it isn’t lost on me, that the reason that I can do that, the reason that I can hold the faces of those girls in my hands, and hug them like crazy, love them like crazy, is because of the people back home. Because people sacrificially give of their paychecks, I can give real love. So thank you. A million times, thank you.